Now here's a little story - I've got to tell
About three bad brothers - you know so well
It started way back in history
With Drizzt, Ransom, and me - Death-Dealer.
Been had a little horsy named Paul Revere
Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer
Riding across the land - kicking up sand
Guard's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand
One lonely Vampire I be
All by myself - without nobody
The sun is beating down on my wizard's hat
The air is gettin' hot - the beer is getting flat
Lookin' for a girl - I ran into a guy
His name is Ransom, I said, "Howdy" - he said, "Hi"
He told a little story - that sounded well rehearsed
Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst
The brew was in my hand - and he was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry - he asked me for a sip
He said, "Can I get some?"
I said, "You can't get none!"
Had a chance to run
He pulled out his crossbow
He was quick on the draw - I thought I'd be dead
He put the bow to my head and this is what he said,
"Now my name is Ransom - I've got a license to kill
I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill
Now what do we have here - an outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand - I make myself clear."
We stepped into the wind - he had a bow, I had a grin
You think this story's over but it's ready to begin
"Now I got the bow - you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me" I said, I'll ride with you if you
can get me to the border
The Garr's after me for what I did to his mother
I did her like this - I did her like that
I did her with a whiffleball bat
So I'm on the run - the Broadband's got my bow
And right about now - it's time to find a hoe
The Lord Death-Dealer- that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours then we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the hoes was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
Ransom said, "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't." - but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Drizzt and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the Vanq Bow - aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" - and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two Noobies that ran for the door
"I'm Drizzt and I get respect
Your gold and your regs is what I expect"
Ransom was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the guard and I punched him in the face
The guard's out - the protection stopped
His boy had skills- and he got dropped
Drizzt grabbed the regs -Ransom snatched the gold
I grabbed two hoes and a beer that's cold.